We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I am never drinking with the goths again.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
tell me about the eggs
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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