fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
