K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
