I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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