Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
