Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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