If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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