i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
