I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
we made out on top of his cat.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
