dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
