Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
