I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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