i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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