he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
