THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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