Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize