we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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