have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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