I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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