I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
