Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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