Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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