just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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