Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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