Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
