somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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