I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
