i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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