I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
