His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
