Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Well I just put wine in my tea
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
