everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
