I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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