Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
