If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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