i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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