1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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