I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
