do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
