Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
