I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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