i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
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I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
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I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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