Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
is it fun? or sober?
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