im about as happy as oj after his trial
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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