Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize