idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
