I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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