So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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