Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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