Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?

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  (816): dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink? http://tfl.nu/aysx
  Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (940)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.

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  (815): I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere. http://tfl.nu/yvq7
  Replies (3) Good night (534) Bad night (2131)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.

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  (732): used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick (732): i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore. http://tfl.nu/4czg
  Replies (59) Good night (617) Bad night (2283)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  So can I buy you a drink sometime?

  (206): View more from Washington

  Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.

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  (918): So can I buy you a drink sometime? (206): Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days. http://tfl.nu/hks4
  Replies (28) Good night (1204) Bad night (7716)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.

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  (806): How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking. http://tfl.nu/9w1c
  Replies (11) Good night (4040) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie

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  (805): the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie http://tfl.nu/n8tx
  Replies (20) Good night (6367) Bad night (853)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.

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  (561): We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night. http://tfl.nu/gp7p
  Replies (27) Good night (3972) Bad night (1041)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  it was like fucking gandolphs beard

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  (405): it was like fucking gandolphs beard http://tfl.nu/vnqc
  Replies (30) Good night (965) Bad night (6776)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship

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  (207): i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship http://tfl.nu/kphu
  Replies (13) Good night (1860) Bad night (3792)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.

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  (404): Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center. http://tfl.nu/it0q
  Replies (18) Good night (939) Bad night (4381)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.

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  (601): Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall. http://tfl.nu/qd0i
  Replies (7) Good night (2779) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.

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  (419): That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself. http://tfl.nu/02m3
  Replies (8) Good night (1760) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."

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  (859): I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital." http://tfl.nu/3xux
  Replies (7) Good night (4361) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.

  (1-510): View more from California

  First world problems?

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  (510): It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents. (1-510): First world problems? http://tfl.nu/77p2
  Replies (5) Good night (2441) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra

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  (510): Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra http://tfl.nu/f97g
  Replies (2) Good night (505) Bad night (218)

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