Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine

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  (515): does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine http://tfl.nu/uuy6
  Replies (2) Good night (1229) Bad night (615)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept

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  (773): I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept http://tfl.nu/49pe
  Replies (10) Good night (611) Bad night (1873)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.

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  (631): i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet. http://tfl.nu/93ik
  Replies (94) Good night (11214) Bad night (935)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.

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  (708): You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie. http://tfl.nu/ufjq
  Replies (13) Good night (1985) Bad night (2778)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup

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  (773): legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup http://tfl.nu/hm49
  Replies (15) Good night (737) Bad night (6900)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good

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  (978): I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good http://tfl.nu/mzsl
  Replies (8) Good night (3074) Bad night (1248)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair

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  (647): hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair http://tfl.nu/2ava
  Replies (25) Good night (4137) Bad night (1136)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked

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  (812): I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked http://tfl.nu/576t
  Replies (31) Good night (890) Bad night (9929)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Now have a vodka water and get your shit together

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  (612): Now have a vodka water and get your shit together http://tfl.nu/ex6u
  Replies (6) Good night (2508) Bad night (996)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.

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  (804): she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener. http://tfl.nu/h6je
  Replies (12) Good night (2196) Bad night (2770)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me

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  (479): Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me http://tfl.nu/g33s
  Replies (5) Good night (1907) Bad night (689)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.

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  (704): Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor. http://tfl.nu/wceh
  Replies (9) Good night (3856) Bad night (1081)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  So what's going on?

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.

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  (630): So what's going on? (1-630): We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid. http://tfl.nu/vkkl
  Replies (4) Good night (836) Bad night (409)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yesterday you said I was the best.

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.

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  (570): Yesterday you said I was the best. (1-570): No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference. http://tfl.nu/was6
  Replies (3) Good night (648) Bad night (481)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.

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  (919): Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut. http://tfl.nu/igax
  Replies (6) Good night (358) Bad night (822)

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