omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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