Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?

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(281): View more from Texas

I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.

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(512): View more from Texas

Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.

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(334): View more from Alabama

Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.

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Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.

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(813): View more from Florida

For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.

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(+04): View more from

I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.

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(765): View more from Indiana

you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there

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(847): View more from Illinois

We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night

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