at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Even my vagina gasped.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense