you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
