You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
