I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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