They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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