you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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