i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
