Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
