Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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