is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
