that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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