I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
