I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
