so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
