I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
