I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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