I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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