addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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