Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
