Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i came on her dog
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
