Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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